Epiphany and Pain

In the Emergent Lit class we talked about, a single moment in time seeming to last a lifetime. So I blogged about this moment I had. Then today in Capstone we talked about Epiphany and Pain, and that same story popped into my head.

Epiphanies are painful, I broke my back--well I didn't break it some Raiders fan, wannabe snowboarder broke it--and I was given a massive concussion at the same time.

My moment of ahhh, and OWEEEEE! was in a hospital in Sparks, Nevada, right outside their CAT scan machine room. Strapped to a gurney body completely immobilized, I over heard the doctor ask the nurse to monitor me closely. "Her brain seems to be swelling, we might need to open her up and give the brain some room."

Thanks Doc! way to make sure your patient is comfy, and feels safe in your care! He had no idea I could hear him say this. But I did and my whole life flashed before my eyes. My epiphanic moment was this: "I have no words, I have only thoughts, and now my thoughts are going to be exposed to the outside air, something they should never have to be exposed to unless coming out of my mouth or out of my pen.

The pain I felt in my body was not as great as the pain I felt in my mind. The thought that I might lose my memory, my future, my present. I thought "this is the end."

Luckily they didn't have to operate, and instead sent me home with some anti-inflammatory medicine, and some muscle relaxers. And as for my mind. It still works, I see things in new ways, it worked out pretty well for me. Though my memory really isn't what it used to be, hahah, and I do have holes that I cannot fill in from my past. It's weird how I know the memories are there, my mind just wants to keep the hidden from me for now. At least I can remember never to go back to that doctor again!

~L.