The Bhahahahagavad-Gita

I completely agree with the self-help thought that Tai explained in his blog. It got to be a bit preachy and yeah it's about religious experiences and giving ourselves to a higher power thought lessons of everyday life. So as I read and I thought of my own life and all the "wrongs" that I've done and how I too am on the battle field trying to fight the ever pressing reality of the world. And so I read and I read and I read and finally two or so hours later I closed the book, and instead of feeling at peace and ready to fight on for my divine right to live I got pissed. And I don't mean just upset, I mean yelling and screaming at the top of my lungs at someone significant in my life who's name I will keep a secret. I lost control, I was no longer peaceful, I was no longer listening and devoting myself to the higher self, I was wrapped up in the smaller self, the ME. The clam soothing words of Krishna were like a faded song, a half forgotten memory, or a moment in time of past and future experiences that could not come together to make the present.

So why would I have this reaction? I have no idea. Perhaps Ronald and I are on the same page and instead of me having the realization during my reading, I had the realization after and instead of throwing my book I threw my words. And yet I see this book's cover and I am not angry, I am not afraid, I am not worried that I might have the same reaction if I open it up again. I think, hummm there are lessons to be learned, and thoughts to be thought. I need to open it up again and discover myself between the lines and in the essence of the book. Or maybe I actually need to not look for MYself and I simply need to let 'my' go and find just 'self' in the lines and in the ora surrounding these sacred words.

~L.